AIB 9 (parody): Cool Kids Table

Scene 1:
(blanket is seen holding her thumb out with her right hand and is holding her spider plush with the other hand)

Coconut: Uh... Blanket? Why are you holding your thumb out? Blanket:

Coconut: So?! They’re poisonous and give most people the creeps!

Blanket: They’re still cute though!

Coconut: Why?

Blanket: They have bug eyes!

Coconut: So?

Blanket: So, they’re cute.

(intro starting tone plays)

Coconut: ...I have nothing to say.

(intro plays)

Scene 2:
(elimination time song plays)

Oodle: I’m not gonna go over the votes because all the votes were unanimously for Nine.

(bursts out coconut)

Antimatter: Hey Oodle Toodle Doodle, mind if I snap the fingertips?

Oodle: Nope.

(antimatter snaps their fingers and send nine to the doodleverse)

Recycling Bin: That was quicker than usual.

Scene 3:
(oodle recovers chip bag and domino grabs her)

Oodle: OK so, instead of a challenge, we’ll be doing something different. This episode will focus on the up for elimination team which is… Team 1!

Team 1: Yay!

Recycling Bin (sarcastically): Man isn’t this gonna be a lovely episode.

Scene 4:
(blanket and candle are at team 1 buns((team 1’s restaurant name from AIB 4)) and then Blanket looks at the camera)

Blanket: Oh, hey! I’m Blanket! This is Candle! Thanks for visiting us at Team 1 Buns! And Obviously that’s our restaurant name. Oh, and Brick, If you’re watching…

(blanket opens her mouth, puts her thumb on her teeth and takes it out)

Candle: You don’t wanna know what that means, viewers.

Coconut: Blanket?!

(view zooms to coconut)

Coconut: You sound different today!

Blanket: What do you mean?

Coconut: You sound like a teenage girl, while in episodes 2-8, you sounded like a shy 5 year old girl!

Blanket: First of all, the creator decided to give me a new voice actor to make me sound less shy, second of all that last part kind of feels like an insult!

Coconut: When did I say that was an insult?!

Blanket: When did I say nothing can hurt my feelings?!

(short pause)

Blanket: Yeah, exactly.

(flaggy zooms in the scene)

Flaggy (talking fastly): Hi, viewers! I’m Flaggy! Nice to meet all of you!

Blanket: *chuckles* Oh that Flaggy!

Flaggy: Mind if we join in?

Blanket: Wait- What do you mean “we”?

(zooms to flaggy who also haves album, bacon, chocolate chip, pill and roe)

Blanket: That strip of bacon is looking pretty sus.

Bacon: What the heck in tarnation does that mean?!

Blanket: Sus is the shorter term for “suspicious”. Mostly used in the game known as “Among Us”. And in my eyes, any person with full red is sus.

Flaggy: Yeah! When the imposter is sus!

Blanket: When the imposter is sus!

Flaggy and Blanket: When the imposter is sus!

Chocolate Chip (annoyed): We get it.

Album: I got a scratch while looking in the bushes for Candle last episode.

Coconut: Of course…

Blanket: Hey guys! I got something from Candle at the end of last episode! And Coconut and Choccy already know what it is!

(blanket pulls bud *her spider plush* out of her bag)

Blanket: Bud!

Bacon: The spider plush?

Blanket: Yeah!

Flaggy: Okay?

Blanket (baby talk): Hey little guy.

Chocolate Chip (annoyed): It’s a plush.

Blanket: So what?

Candle: It’s Blanket’s brain! She can do what she wants! And google docs keeps calling me mom for some reason!

Blanket: I can feel ya, Candle. Fandom just called me narcoleptic.

Candle: And you only fell asleep that one time, right?

Blanket: Right! But look at this: Blanket: I mean, fandom is all like, “**** you Blanket, you must be narcoleptic!”

(awkward silence)

Blanket: What? It’s just a curse word.

Bacon: But it’s not even necessary to say on an object show like this!

Blanket: Well at least the network censorship bleeped it out. But anyway, I may get tired sometimes but not ALL the time!

Chocolate Chip (faking being tired): I’m currently getting close to falling asleep from boredom.

Blanket *facepalm*

Roe: I feel awkward.

Bacon (to blanket): Hey, girl! Heard your voice actor has a retainer!

(awkward 10 second silence)

Blanket: I have nothing to say. That actually kind of means the universe to me.

Chocolate Chip: Says the pink girl who doesn’t know the difference between a living spider and a spider plush!

Blanket: *gasp* I do too!

Album: Yeah, I’m sure she does.

Blanket: Yeah and Bud’s totally alive. See? See his limbs move?!

Chocolate Chip: THEIR LEGS ARE ROCKING AND THAT DOESN’T MEAN IT’S ALIVE YOU TWIT!!!

Blanket: Oh sure it does.

Flaggy: All this crazy talk is making me salivate like a cat on crack! Even though that’s not a thing!

(flaggy faints)

Blanket: Actually, there CAN be real cat crack in the world.

Bacon: ...What.

Blanket: I have Inanimate Intelligence! I’m a clever clogs! A brainy blanket! Object prodigy! Genius of the geniuses!

Chocolate Chip: Okay! We get it!

Roe: Well, me and Pill have to go. I need time outside of a bakery.

Blanket: Oh ok.

(roe and pill leave)

(filmy walks in uninvited)

Filmy: Hi beauty.

Blanket: Oh! Hey uh… Filmy, you don’t really have to be here. We’re a bit… *pause* busy.

Filmy: OK.

(filmy leaves)

Blanket: Guys, I need to say something. Filmy wants to date me for some odd reason. But… I can’t. Because I’m lesbian.

Bacon: Pardon?

Blanket: Lesbian means I only attact girls. I don’t attract boys like Filmy. EXCEPT…

(blanket grabs a bowling ball)

Blanket: Bowling balls. I attract bowling balls.

Chocolate Chip: What.

Album: Blanket, you’re weird.

Chocolate Chip: Tell me about it.

Oodle: Y’all, I think we should rap up. This episode has gone on long enough.

Chocolate Chip: Yeah! And so has Blanket’s spider plush obsession! I mean where did Candle even get here?!

Candle: I can’t tell you. It’s a secret. Only Blanket knows.

(pause)

Chocolate Chip: Uh….

Blanket: Oh wait! You actually wanna know? I’ll tell you!

Chocolate Chip: Okay?

Blanket: Nunya! NUNYA BUSINESS BI-

(cuts to voting screen)

Scene 5:
Shot Put: So… do we just not say anything until the next episode?

Glove: I guess so.