AirPod calls Pitchfork

(pitchfork's phone rings)

Pitchfork: Huh? Who's this? Hello?

???: YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO COME QUICKLY! GLOWSTICK FELL DOWN THE WELL ENVELOPE!

Pitchfork: I'm sorry what?

???: I SAID, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO COME QUICKLY! CUZ GLOWSTICK FELL DOWN THE WELL ENVELOPE!

Pitchfork: I think you have the wrong number.

???: DSKNCFHJHGDMKHHFSJMDCJBXMDHJCXZGDNMXCBJHDGNBCZHJDGNJCHZDGXZHCDGNJCBZHXGHJ

Pitchfork: Ok, goodbye.

???: JKSDKCSDMKNSNASJKSSXNHBHETUTIETBRCIEIMCEQIUNINCCENCNCNCNCCNKCGKOECIDKFL-(gets hung up on)

(pitchfork's phone rings *again*)

Pitchfork: What the?! IT'S FROM THE SAME PERSON?! Okay... Maybe if they're calling again even after I clearly told them they had the wrong number, maybe it's not a wrong number. So... talk to me.

???: HOLE LOLE IDWNDKEIECARIUKSARHMNMMCRJNAMWCCWCN ENVELOPE!

Pitchfork: Okay! I can't understand a thing you're saying!

AirPod: Envelope, no one things that you're funny!

Pitchfork: I'M NOT ENVELOPE!!!!

AirPod: WELL THIS IS THE NUMBER THEY GAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pitchfork: WELL THEY MUST'VE GIVEN IT TO YOU WRONG!!!!!!!!!

(airpod hangs up)

(pitchfork calls back)

Pitchfork: HEY!!!!!!!! I JUST FOUND ENVELOPE!!!!!!!!! AND HE'S THE FUNNIEST GUY I EVER MET!!!!! AND HE TOLD ME HE DOESN'T GIVE HIS PHONE NUMBER OUT TO RUDE PIECES OF-

(the end)